Telling a Different Story

In the past year, I've travelled to Istanbul countless times, cooked and baked some amazing food, drank Guiness in Ireland with my in-laws, spent a raucuous weekend in Bodrum with friends, visited London for the first time with my best friend, celebrated my 30th birthday in Paris, and on and on.

I wanted to tell you about it, all of it, and yet I didn't. I wasn't on hiatus from writing exactly, but on a long -- okay, very long -- hiatus from this blog, from this space, which I had been feeling for a long time no longer reflected the life I was leading.

The second reason I didn't write on the blog very much was because the last year has not been the easiest of my life, and I wasn't sure how much of myself I wanted to put out here. I wanted to hole up inside, bake brownies and pretend that nothing was wrong. But I couldn't bring myself to pretend that nothing was wrong here, to all of you, because I knew it wasn't true and somehow that didn't seem fair.

The problem was that I didn't know how to say what I wanted to say. A lot of what I wanted to say didn't seem to fit here, didn't fit in with previous stories and posts, and I was stymied by what I thought you all came here for and what you wanted to read. And so I didn't say anything.

To be honest, for a long time, that was liberating. To not consider every meal, every event, a story or a post or something I had to share. And since I figured you all came here for restaurant reviews and pithy stories about street cats, I figured I couldn't write about the pubs in Galway or birthday cocktails at Harry's New York Bar because....that's not what this space is supposed to be about.

But this morning I woke up and realized that in not writing anything, anything at all, that I am wasting this space as a forum for writing and thinking and musing and that I was throwing away five years of online living just because I didn't know what I wanted to say right here and right now.

And honestly, I still don't exactly know what I'm going to say here. This space I'm in now is fluid and flexible and a little bit confusing, but part of me is hoping that I'll figure a few things out here, on this blog, where I'll just write what I feel and what I want and the rest be damned.

 

Comments

[Ozlem's Turkish Table]

Merhaba:) glad to stop by and read your honest, lovely post- it is not an easy job to keep bloging all the time, being a blogger, I understand you so well. Bu then the honesty, sincerity of sharing an experience, connect with like minded folks out there, all that matters. hope you enjoy and keep blogging, whenever you feel like:)
best wishes
Ozlem

[Barbara J. Isenberg]

Thanks for the well wishes, Ozlem! They are very much appreciated. :)

[Natalie]

I sometimes wonder what my life would be like without a blog and I can not imagine it is one that I would like. Having said that, I would like to take a break at times, to catch up with other things in life.

Hope you figure out the course you want to take.

[SSI]

The sun rose in almost the same spot today as yesterday, but it will be a very different day.

[Amy]

So glad to see this. I look forward to seeing what you have to say. It's often the style more than the content that pulls me in to someone's writing. Having said that my Turkish husband is very likely about to get a job in Istanbul. Reading your posts on Turkey have started to prepare me for this big transition. Leaving my successful career behind at 40 is a little terrifying but also liberating. Thanks for trusting us with your thoughts!

Amy