Rituals

There is a topic I have been hesitant to approach on this website, mainly because I know my grandmother and my father read it, and there are some things about Turkish culture that I am sometimes timid about discussing with anyone other than Jeff and some close friends.

But considering that this particular topic has crossed my mind several times since we've moved to Turkey, I do think it would be good to finally address it here: the ritual of removing women's bodily hair.

Here in Turkey, waxing is much more popular than shaving. (In fact, razors, though  more common now than they were 10 years ago, are mostly limited to the dollar store kind where you can use it once and throw it away. A friend, who is also American and gets a monthly wax, and I agree that American waxers generally do not do a good job, plus it's too expensive in the States.) Every month, millions of Turkish women head to their favorite salon and have their legs, bikini areas and underarms waxed. They also get what we in the US call a Brazilian wax, one in which all the hair is removed from your nether regions. All of it.

On several occasions here, I've had an opportunity to speak with the women at the salon I frequent about the different beauty rituals between Turkish and American women. Most of the women chuckle a bit when I express horror at getting a Brazilian wax, but the young woman who waxed my legs last night had the most impressive reaction of all.

I went in for my usual leg and bikini wax and we started chatting.

"Just your legs and bikini?" she asked. I nodded.

"Not your special district (the literal translation for "özel bölge, or Brazilian)?" she asked.

I wrinkled my nose and shook my head. This is a conversation I've had at least half a dozen times. Usually, my normal waxer just winks and says, "Suit yourself," but this woman reacted differently.

"What do you mean?" she asked. I didn't say anything at first because I wasn't sure what she meant.

"If you don't wax, what do you do?" she continued. What do I do?

"Well, normally I don't do anything to it," I said hesitantly.

Her eyes widened in horror and she paused, the hot wax she had just put on my thigh cooling and hardening. I thought about this and the pain that would ensue if she didn't hurry up and rip it off, so I hurriedly said, "Well, I cut it, you know..."

That wasn't a very good answer, apparently. She looked at my left hand, and, noticing my ring, said, "But you have a husband. What about him?"

My dear reader, what about Jeff? What about my husband? Will he reject me if I don't wax? Will he think less of me? Will he find me less attractive? Maybe he prefers the 11-year-old girl look?

I shook my head. "You mean after you got married you didn't do anything then, either?" she asked in disbelief.

No, I answered. I had to stifle a chuckle as she grew silent and went back to work. I think she was more shocked and disgusted by me than I am of the whole waxing process in general. She seemed genuinely surprised, then grossed out. But despite her blatant disapproval, I still do wish I were more mature and I could, as some European women do, go au naturale, but I'm not.

In Turkey, though, not removing bodily hair is considered unclean and the most important reason why women, especially married women, get their legs, underarms, bikini and nether regions waxed. It's considered, I think, something you do as much for yourself as for your husband (and since this is a family friendly website, we're not going to speculate on why this is).

And though they say, "When in Rome ... ", I think the Brazilian wax is one cultural norm that I will probably not adopt.

Comments

[Amanda]

Merhaba from one of your readers in the States! While I've been following your blog for a while now, I've never commented, but couldn't resist after reading this entry. I laughed out loud!! I've visited Istanbul several times, and lived there last summer. I, too, experienced the same scrutiny! Like yourself, I just can't go au naturale. I enjoy reading your blog! Good luck in your apartment search.

[Bas]

Haha, love it when suddenly the odd becomes the normal and the normal becomes the odd ^_^

[Jen]

I agree w/ it seeming a little pre-pubescent and creepy to me for that reason. You could do the porn-star landing strip, if you wanted to go somewhere in between.

[andy]

Hi barbara

i chose to do a assignment on Turkey and was just wondering if you know any rituals,rules or symbols they may use on a day to day bases.hope to hear from you soon

cheers
andy

[XS]

Ooh this is great news for me! I was just wondering (about to move to Izmir), if I would need to cart a bunch of wax across the ocean as I did when living in China (where women are confused and/or horrified at the idea of removing hair from anywhere but their eyebrows). I know you wrote this years ago, but if you're still in the area, can you give me an idea of the cost for waxing?
Thanks!
Zo